The fallacy of my “Self-Growth”

Have you ever got to a point where you just stop trying?. Just got tired of your persistence and gave up?. I am not talking about a short effort here, I am talking about something you have set as a main goal in your life. The one thought which stays with you 24/7 no matter the circumstance in life. I think I just did.

I have not yet quit it, but I have stopped trying. For the 6 years in my life I have been deceiving myself of putting off, not trying by sitting comfortably behind a smoke screen called “Self-Growth”.

Sure I have accumulated a wealth of knowledge. But what is the use of it, if it can’t be applied?. My conscious awareness has increased, but its added to more suffering. The more I am aware of my flaws, the more I suffer. The basic flaw in my “Self-Growth” is simple. My words ≠ My Actions. Simple.

Imagine for 6 years, being stuck in a loop of planning and failing without any actual effort to implement it. Its very surprising how a human mind can rationalize itself of progress when there is none. WoW!

So what I am doing now? I have a very basic plan, I am not sure if I will ever achieve it, but I will be sure of one thing. I am not gonna cheat myself going forwards. I will be satisfied when I start to “Walk the talk”. That’s it that’s all I ever need.